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hey this is Leo for actualised org in this video I'm going to tell you how to get a girlfriend alright so let's talk about how to get you that awesome girlfriend that you want how to get a girlfriend all right so what I'm going to give in this video is I'm gonna give you some very practical techniques and really areas in your life that you have to look at to see where you need to fix certain sticking points that you have in order to get much better at attracting a girlfriend alright we're going to cover all the different nuances that I've discovered in my own struggle to find a girlfriend because I had a big big struggle with this and I dedicated massive massive resources and attention and energy and time to figuring this out because I really sucked with attraction and that's what I want to really talk about in this video is there's really two phases to having a girlfriend one is to attract her and that's from the phase where you just meet her to the point where you have sex with her and then after you have sex with her onwards that's when the relationship starts and there there's also some different mindsets that you need and various techniques to actually maintain a girlfriend because some people have trouble doing that after the sex part but I find most guys can figure that stuff out more naturally I'll have other videos that will cover those topics more in depth here I want to focus on the first part of this process the attraction part I find that most people who are struggling to get a girlfriend are struggling in this area the attraction area so we're going to talk about that I'm going to give you all the different sticking points you might possibly have and how you can boost your success there by a lot what I've really learned is that if you're bad at this if you're bad with girls if you're bad at attracting women then what's actually really nice about this for guys is that you can improve and you can improve massively you just have to be dedicated and you have to be following some of these principles and then if you chip away at it over time you can improve ridiculous amounts it's insane how successful you can become with women regardless of your looks or your finances or your social status or anything like that so here we go let's talk about that first of all let's talk about the possible avenues of getting a girl I think this is important because most guys are are sitting or stuck at home or stuck in their job or doing something that's keeping them locked out from ever finding a girlfriend simply because they're not utilizing one of these avenues that you have to use in order to actually find one so one is social circle social circle means that you are socializing with your friends and then your friends socialize with other friends and you kind of intermingle and then through that you meet girls you meet new friends and eventually you end up dating from that and from there you can create relationships this is actually how probably 95% of all dating is done is through social circle this is how girls love to date and most guys like this as well so that is a very legitimate Avenue the next Avenue is online online dating now is pretty popular it's a totally legitimate way to get dates even a legitimate way to get married to find your life partner and all that stuff so that's definitely a appropriate Avenue if you like that sort of thing and if you're a bit tech savvy so that might be more in line with you the only the only trick there is that all AI dating is is fairly nuanced there's a lot of details that will go into that and I'll have another video that talked about the in-depth how-to of online dating so I'm not going to cover that here next is cold approach what is cold approach this is my favorite of the most interesting cold approach is when you approach girls randomly on the street or in the mall or at Starbucks or at a club or at a bar literally you're approaching a stranger a strange girl that you never met before and you're chatting her up with the intent of having sex with her and making your girlfriend so this is very very possible and you can get amazing results from doing this and this is a very very good way at learning how to be good with women in fact this is the best way there is no better way to learn and to improve than by doing lots and lots and lots of cold approach so I highly recommend that if you are deficient in this area and lastly the last Avenue I would say is public visibility so a lot of people a lot of guys will have options with very high quality girls simply because they're out there in public they're around people and they're visible and they also have status right so for example who might be in this position a public speaker or someone who's doing public presentations or a celebrity and actor a musician if you have your own band and artist who's doing shows you know anything where you're out and about and you're meeting people it's basically good enough right because you're going to be bumping into girls and that's all you need really you need some sort of vehicle for bumping into girls whether you do it through cold approach online dating or social circle or public visibility it's all pretty much the same thing just different ways to get there so make sure that you choose one of these avenues to specialize in and commit yourself to that master that get good at it if you want to be good at social circle get good at that make sure you have a large social circle make sure you're being active in it if you want to be good at online dating make sure you commit yourself to that don't just go out there and post a profile and hope that girls hit you up like really go at it hard make sure you craft a really awesome profile make sure you understand and learn how online dating works and make sure that you're always on the online dating sites and hitting up lots of girls that's giving you more more opportunities if you're doing cold approach then you know do that hit that really hard if you're doing the public visibility thing well then you know do that make sure you are visible and make sure that you are actually coming into contact and talking to these girls so those are the actual four avenues for getting a girlfriend now let's talk about attraction problems this is going to be a list of eight things that keep most guys from being able to attract the girlfriend that they want so here they are in no particular order but they're all very important and if you get any one of these wrong then you could be very critically hampering yourself from acquiring a girlfriend so the first one is neediness neediness is a huge turnoff for women I have other videos I talk about attraction with women and you might want to check those out but there I talk about neediness in more depth here I'm just going to say that if you need the girl if you're desperate for sex if you're desperate for love or companionship then there's no way in hell that you're gonna have a girlfriend she is probably not even gonna get attracted to you in the first place but even if she does she's going to leave you very fast because she's going to sense that neediness from you so what you need to do is you got to burn that out of your system find a way to get the neediness out usually the best way to do that I find is to actually be in a lot of relationships dude eating a lot so you can burn it out of your system and you're not so needy for sex or women anymore the next point is not going out most guys that have problems with getting a girlfriend are antisocial they're not going out they're sitting at home in their mancave watching television or watching sports or playing video games all day or they're stuck at work and they're workaholics and so of course if you're doing that then how can you expect to get a girlfriend you have to be out being social because women are social first of all women love social guys just because they love social everything they're social creatures you need to be a social creature too now if you're an introvert I understand this is hard I'm insured myself this has been a big challenge for me but you had to go out there and push yourself right you don't have to become a social party animal but you can still go out more often than you do and if you never go out then that's your problem right there gotta fix that start going out the next point is not approaching just because you go out that's nice maybe you out with your buddies once a week to a bar and you stand there and you you have some drinks in you you crack some jokes and then you go home I mean you see girls but you don't approach them you talk about approaching them you you fantasize about maybe how you could sleep with that girl or how you can get that girl or maybe how you could fall in love with her or she could fall in love with you but then no action is taken no approach is made or maybe you expect her to approach you and that will never of course happen because women almost never approach men so here what you got to do is got to take the initiative and I know it's scary there's anxiety involved it's called approach anxiety there's actually term for it in the pickup community is called approach anxiety and this approach anxiety it let me tell you it doesn't really go away all right I've cold approached several thousand women in the last couple of years and I've really pushed myself hard and I still have approach anxiety if I go out to the club tonight I will still have approach anxiety all right it's natural it's normal so you have to just bust through it you have to take the initiative don't be a [ __ ] have to be a man just when you do up a direct approach on a girl that alone builds massive attraction within her eyes about you because you're a man who did that and 99% of men are not willing to do that or they only do that when they're shit-faced and wasted you want to be doing that so right do it dead sober that's the best way to learn alright next is guys suck at talking talking to women right maybe you're one of those guys that just doesn't know what to say in front of a woman this is actually a lot of guys this was one of my biggest stumbling blocks when I started doing cold approaches that I didn't know what to say I didn't know how to talk to women I'm a very logical analytical introverted guy so what does that mean that means I'm always stuck in my head and the conversation topics that I have are never appropriate for the kind of social settings that I'm in so when I'm in a loud club or a bar or something it's like that or even at a mall I mean I can't talk to a woman about the kind of stuff that I'm like talking with you guys it's very heady it's not appropriate for that atmosphere so I had to really retrain my brain to be more flirtatious and fun and spontaneous more like joking and more witty one I'm out and about and talking to women that's what women want they want emotionally stimulating conversation not the boring hey what's your name where are you from where do you work all right that's a very if you got to start there that's fine and I ask those questions a lot myself I still do especially when I started I was asking those that was basically my whole game because at that point you know you got to work with what you got start there if that's all you got but then try to actually improve your conversation skills so you're cracking jokes you're being funny you're being witty you're doing these kinds of things where you're teasing girls you got to be doing that all right girls will be so much more attracted to you if you are ok the next point is not being sexual with women you have to be sexual this is why guys get friendzone they have friendzone problems is that they're acquaintances with a girl and they kind of befriend a girl they do nice things for the girl and they expected the girl will magically fall in love with them she's not going to do that if you're not sexually making advances on her then she's going to perceive you as just a guy with no balls and she's not going to get attracted to you that's because you have no balls and you don't deserve to get the attraction of a cute girl so what that means is that you have to be sexual be sexual the girl right off the bat set that frame what does that mean that means putting your hands on her body physical right off the bat as soon as you can especially if you're in a nightclub or a bar that's very appropriate if you're at them all definitely don't do that that's not appropriate so have to be calibrated that sort of stuff also the conversations you having right be sexual with your conversations flirt use sexual innuendo sometimes literally you know say dirty things to her right off the bat I mean it can work extremely extremely well and some of the best guys that I know are extremely sexual when they're talking to women because they don't want to be playing around they don't want any confusion about what this conversation here is about this conversation is about us having sex and us having some sort of relationship this is not a get-to-know-you chat or chat about the weather make sure you're not doing that that's a big killer big mistake that people make all right the next point is not leading all right a man has to lead and you have to be leading with a woman that means what that means literally you take her by the hand if you meet her somewhere and you move her around you move around the venue you change venues what does that mean that means that let's say you open a girl at the mall and you're talking to her at the mall you just like chat her up okay you have a nice little five-minute conversation at the mall now you grab her by the hand and you lead her to the Starbucks inside the mall to grab a coffee right it's like an instant date go grab a coffee you're leading her you're pulling hurt somewhere that shows that you're a man you're leading but it's also about leading her to sex literally I mean that's what you got to be doing that's what really good guys do the guys that get a lot of girls that's what they're doing they're not just standing around and waiting for the girl to say eh come home with me it doesn't work like that you have to lead take her from one place to the next place so from the mall to the coffee shop from the coffee shop to ice cream from ice cream to food from food to your house and their sex right if you're not doing that then it's not going to happen you're missing a lot of opportunities just by not leading properly okay the next point is not closing hard all right you have to be a hard closure this is so important I can't even count how many women I've lost because I wasn't closing hard enough you have to really close hard basically you push her for sex until she gives you a really hard dead no so when she says no that's when you know you have to stop and you can disengage and leave that's when it's done but until she give you a hard no you push it because women will give you so many excuses they'll give you literally thousands of excuses from oh I got to go to the bathroom oh my friends are here somebody is waiting for me I have work in the morning this and that she'll give you all sorts of excuses you have to bust through every single one of those lead her to a place where you're isolated and have sex with her there is no relationship until there is sex all right so this is very very critical you have to be a hard closer if you don't know how to do that if you're not comfortable with it you have to just push yourself push yourself to take it to the next level you will be shocked at how far you can get away with with what you can do with girls as far as pulling them too close like you have to be like a really hard salesman it's really a Salesman skill ok the next and last point is bad text game right how good are you with your text messages this is very important because nowadays you rarely will call a girl that you just met or that you even met through a friend it's usually going to be a text message and if it's text messages or even text messages after online dating to get a girl to meet up with you're going to be treating text messages you have to know how to say the right things to communicate the right things so that you seem attractive via the text messages you don't see needy and desperate and a lot of guys will will screw this up because their text game is completely completely wrong it's usually way too verbose way too overblown and way too needy so you need to work that out as well and I'll have other videos that talk about that that's a pretty in-depth topic and I really struggled with text game for a long time and I still do to us to an extent but now I kind of really know the do's and don'ts which have lost me many many many girls who would have otherwise slept with me or become my girlfriend just because I sent them the wrong text message I mean girls will be very picky about that wrong one wrong text message and you're going to blow the whole opportunity so you have to make sure you get that right all right so those are the eight points all right neediness not going out not approaching sucking at conversation not being sexual not leading not closing hard and bad text game all right the next point that I want to make is that you will you got to look look you got to take these points and you got to ask yourself okay where am I going wrong where am i faltering here pick the ones that you're doing the worst on and then commit yourself to working those out practicing and learning from other places learning for me learning from other sources that you could find to get this dialed in in your life if you get all eight points firing on all eight cylinders then you are going to be so attractive and so successful with women that you'll have more girls that you will want to be your girlfriend you will not have any trouble getting a girlfriend if you do this the next point that I want to make is really that you have to commit to a different paradigm in your thinking most guys what they do when they start off dating and they struggle with getting a girl is that they use this what I call the rod and reel method of catching a girl it's kind of like fishing if you take dating and getting a girl as an analogy and equate it with fishing right if you're fishing and you're using the rod and reel what you do is you go out on the bank you cast one line out into the lake and you've got one hook on it and you're sitting there all day waiting for a fish to come nibble and bite on it now the problem with that approach is that a fish comes and bites let's say five hours later you're bored out of your mind if you're even asleep but let's say it comes and bites once in a blue moon it bites now you you get all excited you grab the pole you set the hook and what well half the time the hook doesn't even set and then you get all disappointed and dejected you have to wait another five hours but even if the hook does set now the fish is on the hook you're reeling it in but then you got to be very careful in you're very anxious about reeling it in because you got to get everything just right or you're going to land you're going to lose this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to reel in this nice fish so so with that kind of approach there's a lot of like anxiety within you and it builds up a lot of neediness and desperation and with women that's just for like repellent to them so this is the worst possible way to attract women is with this rod and reel method it's going to be extremely frustrating instead what you want to do is you want to use the net method what's the net method you walk out there with a large casting net and you can cast that thing into the lake and you just pull it in and you see what you get and invariably you're going to get an assortment of things you're going to get a good fish bad fish all sorts of fish from that you pick the fish that you like the best and you make her your girlfriend that's a much better approach now this is all nice and poetic and philosophical but what does this practically mean for you if you're a guy who wants to get a go right now what that means is working on these eight points that I just talked about right these eight points this is your net now the less of these points that you've got solid that means that your net has holes so if you're being needy if you're not going out if you're not approaching and if you're sucking out your conversations those are four huge holes in your net basically your net is going to be it's going to be so so full holes up that girls will just slip right through it and if you're not being sexual and you're not leading and you're not closing hard and you have bad text game again for other gaping holes in your net so if you've got all these holes no wonder you don't have a girlfriend now if you get all these holes plugged by working on yourself then you'll have a very solid net and you'll be catching lots of girls in that net and you'll select the one that you really want so that is the approach that I recommend if you use the rod and reel method then you're going to be in a world of pain and disappointment and you are not going to get the best kind of girl that you could get if you did it the other way around so think about that think about making that paradigm shift it's pretty important the last point that I'm that I'm going to say is that you know if you've had a lot of holes in your net just admit that you do and it's okay just admit that you're not good with girls right now and use that as fuel to motivate you in this journey of learning how to get better with girls let me tell you when you get better with girls and you get on this path of getting better with girls but also personal development it's one of the most rewarding journeys that you'll ever go on in your life you will not regret it it's going to be challenging but it's going to be extremely rewarding I've gotten some of the biggest personal development growth in my life from from doing this so women are a really great way for a man to really become a man so don't shy away from from learning this stuff it's very important especially if you're young and you've got a lot of years ahead of you you know you're going to be feeling that pain for a long time if you don't fix this and lastly is you know commit to being patient with this process you're not going to get good with girls if you suck you're not going to get good just in a week or in month or even in a year it's going to take multiple years to do this and you know what this is okay because you're going to be baby stepping your way up and up and up and you're gonna be learning and learning and getting better and better and better and most of the payoff are going to be at the end at the beginning it's going to be a big struggle but the end you're gonna have massive massive payoff so it's very very worth it but you have to see the long-term vision for yourself you have to be patient don't say that you're gonna get a girlfriend in one weekend that's not very realistic and even if you do you haven't really improved yourself you haven't really fixed your net so you just got lucky if you did and that's not the right way to really solve this problem permanently all right so this is Leah I'm signing off this is how to get a girlfriend go ahead and post me a comments down below I'd love to hear what you think please like this click the like button if you liked it also throw this up on Facebook or somewhere else where you can share it with a friend I'd love to spread this message around help other guys and then come check out and sign up to our newsletter actualize that org where I'm releasing new videos new articles exclusive stuff for my subscribers every single week I'm helping to keep you on track with master your psychology and creating an extraordinary life you know I've studied personal moment for so much for so long I've discovered so many like amazing ideas and principles and strategies that I want to share with you guys because they've had a really profound effect on my life and I'm using them personally to create an extraordinary life the kind of life that people would be extremely envious and jealous of I've already made a lot of progress on that but what I've discovered is that you need to like always be working on yourself every single day baby stepping it up and up and up and up and that's why I'm releasing content very frequently and very consistently is because I want to help you stay on track with that and if you sign up then you're getting those updates for free so go ahead and check that out you